Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
