Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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