Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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