Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize