i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
