What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
