I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
babies were throwing up all over the place
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
