are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
