new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Randomize
