we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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