I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
