i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
