You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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