Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
