Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
