When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
