I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
