Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
