when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
