belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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