I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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