I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
