the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
We named our party play list daddy issues
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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