It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
