Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
