I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
