okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
