I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
