I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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