She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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