I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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