She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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