"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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