Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
