He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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