I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I have already put on my inside pants.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
