wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
