Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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