WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
