Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
