'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
