You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
You ruined the universe
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
