Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
