Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize