I'm so fucking centered right now
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
