All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
