he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
