I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
