The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
