I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
