if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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