The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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