Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
