At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
