she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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