all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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