I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
