5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
