How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
