Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
