In the future we'll all be gay
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
