I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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