I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I booty called her while she was in labor.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
