why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
