I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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