If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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